jesus its been years since ive written in this thing. i can't even begin to explain whats been happening in my life, so many things. jobs, online relationship with a crazy woman, relocating several times.
i dont know why im even writing this.
it's ridiculous and i have no plans to keep writing in here i just needed a place to vent about how terribly lonely i am.
the kind of lonely where you feel it in the pit of your gut and it just overflows your heart with longing and makes you sick.
i think im the lonliest person in the world. :(
my ex finally met someone else, someone she genuinely cares about. its fine... im glad for her and everything but it really reminds me of the fact that she never genuinely cared about me. she never read this live journal. if her current gf had a livejournal like this, she would be obsessed with it. she never cared truely. kim, the crazy online ex from utah, she never cared either. not in a genuine way. i existed as someone for her to control, thats about as much as she cared. she wanted a pet to tell what to do, and i did it for 4 months until i just gave up.
she is sad and a crazy person, completely mentally unstable and i cant deal with it. im not someones pet.
but where does that leave me?
i want to have a baby but... mabye i shouldnt even consider it. perhaps im not cut out seeing as how i cant even find a woman to genuinely care.
i have very little friends.
im just sad.